why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
pop tarts are not kleenex
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Let's get the cat blown out
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
