My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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