you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
