i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
