i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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