i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
