everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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