sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
