i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
