i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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