I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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