would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
