We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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