There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
