It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
