I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I need to calm my uterus...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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