The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
