Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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