It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Ketchup is God's man juice
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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