if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
