I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
