they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
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