Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Oh god it's open bar.
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