I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
