If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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