is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
