we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i believe in u and ur pee
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
