Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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