hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
