I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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