i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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