he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
