Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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