a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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