found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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