And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
