I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
