HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
