haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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