When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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