she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's shark week go big or go home
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
