You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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