I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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