Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
