I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
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