If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
