College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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