problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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