Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
