Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize