He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
