Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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