i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
