what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
