I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
you inspire me to be a worse person
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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