So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
