Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
