Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
