i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My penis needs a shock collar
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
