I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
