If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
