i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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