please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
