laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
