At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
